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        斷絕關系、半夜打電話 大齡青年遭遇催婚怎么辦?

        2019年06月10日 02:12 來源:重慶晚報 參與互動 

          斷絕關系、半夜打電話、找家人當幫手……

          大齡青年遭遇催婚,怎么辦?

          “最近睡眠不好,老是四五點就醒了。一直受到催婚的影響,挺煩人的。”6月6日,網友“風語”發帖稱,自己被家人催婚,影響到睡眠。

          而立之年還單身被催婚

          昨日上午,記者聯系上網友“風語”。他姓楊,今年31歲,在南坪一家金融機構做管理。“端午節之前,我爸媽打電話問我回家不。因怕被催婚,我沒有回去,留在了重慶過節。”楊先生說,假期里自己就是跑跑步,做做飯,看看書,或找朋友玩打發時間。

          楊先生告訴記者,其實之前他談過兩次戀愛。第一次戀愛是因為異地戀而分手,第二次戀愛是因為女朋友年齡太小不成熟而導致戀愛無疾而終,“經過兩次失敗的戀愛經歷,我對婚戀更加理性了,要找就得找個適合結婚的人。”

          “這些年每年回家,家人都要給我介紹幾個相親對象。但基本上都沒去,有的是年齡太小;有的是工作太遠;有的是人還沒回老家,說是女孩子父母要先看看,感到很無語。”楊先生告訴記者,如今他已到了而立之年,家人催婚更甚,讓他只好“躲”。

          催婚招數1:半夜電話“轟炸”

          楊先生是四川廣安人,父母務農,“我一打電話回家就是被催婚,都不太敢往家里打電話了。”楊先生說,怕往家里打電話,是不少被催婚年輕人的“痛點”,不過他媽媽卻是經常打電話給他催婚,并且時常在半夜電話“轟炸”。

          “有一次睡得正香,突然被我媽的電話吵醒,結果她突然想起要給我說相親的事。”楊先生說,媽媽時常半夜給他打電話催婚,“一開始我還要接,怕家里有急事,后來習慣了,干脆就不接,早上一早給他們回電話過去。”

          催婚招數2:以斷絕關系“威脅”

          半夜打電話催婚,楊先生已經習以為常。可是去年春節,父母卻因為他拒絕相親而大吵一架。

          “去年我們公司放假早,就提前回家。父母就天天講戀愛結婚的事情,還安排一些相親,感覺不太合適也就沒有去。”楊先生說,大年初一父母又安排相親,這個女孩以前相親見過一次面,但不是喜歡的類型就拒絕了,沒去。

          “給你介紹這個也不去,那個也不去,這個看不上,那個也看不上,你到底要找怎樣的?”結果,當天晚上爸媽就徹底爆發,表示如果再這樣,以后就斷絕關系,不要再回老家。

          楊先生說,他也講了一大堆理由,不是不想相親結婚,是因為實在沒遇到合適的。但父母就是不明白,“那天我和父母大吵一架,結果大年初二我就回重慶了,整個年都沒過好。”

          催婚招數3:換套路找“幫手”

          父母與子女之間沒有隔夜仇,楊先生也沒和父母賭氣,平時小長假只要沒事就會回老家陪陪父母,“現在他們還是催,今年五一節回去還給我介紹一個老家的老師,也沒有去。但他們也沒多說啥,因為他們知道說了也沒用。”

          “父母不怎么說我了,姐姐又來了,以前說起這些事情,姐姐還給我說不著急。結果這段時間也是變相的催婚,簡直就是180度大轉彎。一方面是姐姐剛生了二胎,見我還單身估計也是著急了,另外我都懷疑她是我爸媽找的幫手。”楊先生說,他和姐姐都定居在重慶,相隔只有十多分鐘的車程,“以前周末常常會去姐姐家玩,現在都不敢去了。”

          明白父母用心會考慮合適的相親

          “端午小長假之前,爸媽就打電話問我回家不,回去估計又要嘮叨,怕了。”楊先生說,可能是長期被催婚的原因,最近睡眠確實不太好,“工作中的事情我都能夠解決,只是感情的事情確實強求不來。”

          當記者提起想要聽聽家人對他催婚的想法時,楊先生表示拒絕,他說:“我和姐姐都在重慶,父母在老家難免孤單,平時我接他們來重慶玩,他們也不習慣。其實我能理解父母的良苦用心,遇到合適的女孩,我還是會戀愛的。”

          那些年被家人催過的婚

          “被催婚”是不少大齡單身男女都經歷過的遭遇,你遭遇過哪些催婚招數?昨日,記者采訪了多位上班族。

          蒲女士(28歲 銷售):我的工作特別忙,父母就把我單身的原因歸結于工作,硬是要我換工作去相親談戀愛結婚,我也是無語了。脫單固然重要,但工作也很重要,所以我一直堅持自己的理想,雖然如今還單身,我還是熱愛這份工作。

          王小姐(29歲 化妝師):高中畢業就來重慶打工,去年爸媽還要我回老家工作,他們好給我介紹老家所謂的優質相親對象,還好后來遇到了現在的男朋友,不然我非被“綁”回家不可。

          李先生(32歲 主管):父母幾年前就給我按揭買了房,說只要我在30歲以前結婚他們就立馬把尾款一次性還清,否則按揭貸款就只有我自己還,“寧愿自己還貸款,也不想草率戀愛結婚。”

          婚戀需要過程不能一蹴而就

          社會心理學者、重慶協和心理顧問事務所所長譚剛強認為,立業和成家是人生當中不可少的兩件大事,如今隨著學習準備期的延長,成家也出現兩極分化,要么比較早要么比較晚。不過父母的催婚都是出于好意,子女應該加以理解,做好溝通。而父母需要明白的是婚姻需要一個過程而不能一蹴而就。如果要求過急,反而易導致子女婚姻不幸福,父母養育子女的核心是快樂,只要子女快樂就好。

          重慶晚報-上游新聞記者 張春蓮

        【編輯:李季】

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