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        愈成長愈孤獨的當代青年:被輿論放大的“孤獨感”

        2019年06月10日 11:48 來源:半月談網 參與互動 

          當代青年:關于“孤獨”這一課

          在快節奏、強壓力的現代社會中,一些個體意識愈加強烈的青年人邊展現著獨立自信,邊承受著社會轉型沖突帶來的失落與孤寂。無論是在孤獨中自怨自艾,還是拔腿就跑,都不是與孤獨相處的“正確打開方式”。

          愈成長,愈孤獨?

          社交網絡流行的時代,相較于父輩,年輕人之間看似有更多更便捷的聯系渠道,實際上孤獨感愈發強烈。

          一張曾在網絡上流行的“孤獨等級表”引起了很多網友的討論。這張等級表將孤獨分為十級,從“一個人去逛超市”到“一個人去做手術”,每個級別都有具體行為對照。有網友表示,“不知不覺已經修煉到了第九級,很多事情一個人做挺好。”也有人認為,孤獨感不是來自一個人做這些事情,而是隨之產生的喜怒哀樂需要傾訴時,發現身邊空無一人。

          曾有人說,現在的年輕人看起來很熱鬧,其實每個人都活得像一座孤島。許多人沒有也不想走出自己的島嶼,真實地踏入他人的領地,彼此之間的深入溝通逐步減少,取而代之的是一串串時髦的網絡用語和一張張滑稽的表情包。

          網絡的快速發展大大壓縮了年輕人拓展人際關系的成本和進程,人們往往先通過微信、微博等社交網絡建立聯系,邊聊天邊觀察彼此的日常分享和關注,一段時間下來,便可對其特點進行大致刻畫,在這一過程中甚至不需要見面。

          被輿論放大的“孤獨感”

          部分青年只在網絡里尋求情感和精神慰藉,其結果是形成線上“存在感強”與線下“透明度高”的鮮明對比,個人對人際關系的渴望與實際交往水平產生差距,空虛感更加強烈。

          史女士畢業工作3年多來,早已習慣了獨居生活。“上大學住宿舍時,看到有趣的事情轉頭便可與室友分享,現在大多是一個人對著屏幕樂。”史女士說,一到周末,就常在出去社交與宅在家中之間掙扎。

          “平時工作已經很累了,周末就想好好休息,但宅久了也會無聊。可與朋友一起吃飯,聊一陣后大家就各自開始玩手機。”史女士告訴記者,她并不討厭獨處,相反大多數獨處時光是自由而輕松的,不過偶爾還是會有彌漫全身的孤獨感讓其無所適從,找不到宣泄的出口。

          年輕人的孤獨感,被社會輿論不斷放大,一些媒體樂于給其貼上“空巢青年”“佛系”等標簽。在從“為他人而活”到“為自己而活”、從“強關系紐帶”到“弱關系紐帶”的討論中,這個群體的孤獨感被刻意凸顯放大,讓一些年輕人感覺另類和沮喪。

          在孤獨中尋求成長

          其實,孤獨并不可怕。它可能帶來失落、寂寞等消極體驗,也可能促成獨立、自制、自省等積極品質。

          心理學倡導“代償法”,即通過代償減輕、淡化由于需求得不到滿足而產生的痛苦和空虛。由于性質不同,代償分為兩類:消極的代償和積極的代償。

          消極的代償容易獲取,如刷新社交網絡、看直播、通宵打游戲等,但長此以往,會讓人滋生空虛感等更為復雜的消極情緒。而積極的代償方式雖然要求高,且較難進入狀態,但一旦享受其中便可獲得無與倫比的精神體驗。比如堅持健身后看到自己愈發輕盈的體態,堅持每天閱讀后內心的充盈和思想的富足等。

          在孤獨中成型的事物,往往也能被用來救贖孤獨。

          美國作家梭羅的《瓦爾登湖》一書,詳細記錄了他在瓦爾登湖畔獨自生活的所見所聞所思。這本寫于孤獨的書,卻緩解了讀者的孤獨,這便是閱讀和寫作帶給讀者和作者的雙重魅力,也是“積極獨處”的方式之一,讓人在孤獨中創造和升華。

          當然,鼓勵年輕一代不畏懼孤獨,并不是提倡孤獨的生活方式。網絡時代,如何擺脫“線上社交”的掌控,切實建立有溫度的人際關系和社會樣態,已成為擺在當代年輕人面前值得思考的課題。(半月談記者 朱筱)

        【編輯:郭澤華】

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